Beloved Flower lover,
She looked down the stairs and realized that the stair lift was downstairs.
Her husband had forgotten to send the lift back upstairs.
She thought about him. He was now cooking for her after years of neglect. Things had changed for the better between them Where she had felt invisible with him, ignored by him and generally a single mother in a marriage, She now felt the huge emotional change as he had for himself had turned a corner and loved her up.
She used to believe it was all over for her and had began to take up pottery and flowers and that kept her going throughout his affairs. Today after noticing how she was turning herself on without him, he first tried to laugh at her but after her persistence with her own interests, he dropped his ‘outside interests’.
Today he was a doting and devoted husband. Growing older she had increased her confidence and value to herself and healed her heart with pottery and flower classes. She realized her resentment towards him had melted away. She had stopped leaking her energy towards him once she realised that he could never save her.
She stood up and realized that she had melted away that resentment towards him. She realized that she had ‘for- gifted’ him and herself after her long marriage. Forgiven herself for soaking up expectations from society about marriage and for repeating that expectation as more expectations in her own mind. She used to tell herself that it was too late.
She never thought that she was ever going to be like this. That she were going to have a lift of resentments and also a life after that. She remembered being a young beautiful woman running up those stairs – she saw it ‘now’ today. And now months out of hospital she thanked the stair lift for helping her to move around her house which she had made sure was bought during those years of marital neglect. She thanked her legs and her life situation for teaching her that she had the tools in her own hands to fashion her own healing. The pots, and the flowers. Her entire life had purpose. She had figured it out. Not from the telly or even her religious friends.
She then heard herself say, to herself it’s time to let it go and live life to the fullest right now. She walked down those stairs, went out in the garden and cut her first rose for months.
Turned on by life- the sparkle in her eye, that molecule of wellness had been switched on,again. She had dodged her own resentment bullet. She was living in a garden of flowers.
She cut her first rose for months!
Unbelievable things were possible.