Beloved Flower lover,
Relaxing, because it’s a hot London day and we could not help standing outside the office to cool off, whilst we are just soaking up the London sun rays. We love it. Breathing slowly, gently and concentrating sweetly on the ease of the sun, we are smiling broadly and just feeling nice. Taking all that in we took in the locals around us and began politely overhearing a conversation between a group of men about how the music of Taurrus Riley inspired the groom to plan for his wedding. Our ears pricked up!
They all looked like the kind of men who were in the trades, plumbing, painting and decorating, electricians maybe IT . Could be a bus driver or a barber, who knows, but defintely the kind of men who all loved football .
The groom to be said he was playing Taurrus Riley, ‘Superman’ and ‘Something strong’ and just began to recall a load of good feelings about his loved one. He said he had to cut with all of the cynics around him and just do it. He decided to live now and enjoy the fruits of his love.
We just smiled to ourselves, overhearing grown men talk about how much they loved their women. What a beautiful reflection of what is going on in London. “What a preview of things to come”, we whispered to each other as we stood in the sunshine and relaxed and absorbed how people are loving each other today in London. How they are creating harmony and sweetness between each other.
One of the girls, beaming with her mega watt smile, took a deep breathe and signed and said, “that’s the reason why we keep doing our floral work, even when we do not hear people talk like this about love….even when others forget or cannot see, we keep doing it and look at this….. it’s a pleasure to hear men. Men talk privately amongst themselves about how creating a life and love is what dreams are made of and that just because there are a million reasons to quit that they will hold on to their dreams. Yes, we got it going on”….she said in her beautiful accent.
The big man, went on to say how he had made a compilation of songs which he would just meditate on because they reminded him of how happy he was with his lady and why marrying her was such a pleasure. Yes,he had come to love the lyrics of Taurrus Riley, even though it was not the sort of music he grew up with, he just found the lyrics and vibe said exactly what he felt a ‘real man’s man’ would say and feel if he knew the power of being a real man.
Totally absorbed and fascinated, we were well in the private conversation and got more details. Like, how he had been invited out to a party and first heard, ‘She’s Royal’ and the whole room was full of loving couples just been affectionate with each other. he said the whole room were just breathing easy, nice steady, nice and sweetly. So it was after that and getting his first Taurrus Riley compilation that he decided to ask his own ‘Queen’ to marry him. Once she said yes, he needed help about what to do next. so we came up with a list of questions and answers for grooms.
Q: Who’s Paying?
Ans: Your first task is to establish who is going to pay for your wedding. Traditionally, a wedding is hosted and paid for by the bride’s parents. Today, the etiquette of old is far less rigid and only about 30% of weddings is paid for by the bride’s parents. More and more couples are opting to pay for their own wedding since they are then free to choose exactly what they want without the worry of putting their parents under financial strain. However, many brides’ fathers have prepared themselves for their daughter’s marriage by saving well in advance and they welcome the opportunity to exercise their prerogative.
Q: What is your budget
Ans: If you and your bride will be responsible for organising your wedding (whether you are paying for it yourself or receiving contributions from your or your bride’s parents, you are strongly advised to set a budget. Unless you have access to unlimited funds, chances are that you will have to financially plan your wedding very carefully. An inherent danger with planning anything on the scale of a traditional wedding is that you can very easily overextend yourselves, especially if you commit yourselves to expenses on a one-by-one basis without keeping an eye on the overall picture.
With the average cost of a traditional wedding in the UK being about £11,000, overrunning by just 15 per cent out will mean having to find another £1,650. If your parents are contributing to your wedding, it is important that you don’t end up having to go back to them asking for more money and thereby putting them under unwelcomed financial pressure. If you and your bride are paying for the total cost of your wedding, it may mean starting married life with an unplanned debt.
Unfortunately, dealing with the financial aspects of getting married can be the cause of much tension between those involved in organizing your wedding. However, by carefully monitoring and controlling your expenditure with use of a budget, you will go a long way to reducing the stress that you will undoubtedly experience during your wedding preparations.
Q: How do I go about choosing Venues And Setting A Date
Ans: Once you know who is paying for your wedding and how much money you have, you will be able to choose your marriage and reception venues for the type and style of wedding you want (whether it be a church or civil wedding, large or small etc.) and choose a date. Deciding upon the date of your wedding will not be as straight-forward as you might think since you will need to obtain available dates from your preferred venues. Popular venues get booked up early. However, if your budget is a consideration, it is worth bearing in mind that it is often much cheaper to get married on a weekday or out of season as venue and other wedding service providers are only too pleased to have an income at quieter times. Also, venues that have vacant dates in the very near future will charge less simply to have the date filled.
Q: How do I go about compiling my Guest List
Ans: Since weddings are family occasions, your and your bride’s immediate families and relatives (usually one step removed such as grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins) are always included? You would also invite your close friends and possibly work colleagues who you have known for some time. The parents may also have close family friends that they would like to invite, especially friends that have taken a close interest or involvement in your upbringing.
If your budget is limited, keep the number attending your service and wedding reception to a minimum, inviting others to the evening reception only. Alternatively, to accommodate more guests, you could opt for spending less per head on the receptions. Halfing your cost per head will double the number of guests you can invite.
Whatever number of guests you decide to invite, it is considered that the perfect wedding guest list should provide a balanced picture of the lives of the bride and groom and their families (regardless of who is paying for your wedding). Therefore, as a starting point, it is recommended that invitations are allocated using the following ratios: one third the bride’s parents’ guests; one third the groom’s parents’ guests and one third for the friends of you and your bride. However, it is often the case that adjustments to this ideal solution will need to be made, especially where family sizes differ greatly.
Although both families will be involved in compiling the guest list to ensure a good representation of family and friends, ultimately the host, who is paying for your wedding, must give the final approval.
Q: Compiling Your Wedding List
Ans: Whatever your thoughts about the desirability of wedding gifts list, you will be bought gifts by your guests. The difficulty most couples face when considering the issue of wedding gifts is balancing the desire of your guests, who want their carefully chosen gift to be received with appreciation, with your desire to receive gifts that you need or would find useful in your home. It is in no one’s interest to buy or receive gifts that are duplicated or not needed.
The answer to this problem is to have a wedding list from which those wishing to buy you a gift can choose something they know is wanted and will be appreciated. It is important to remember that there is nothing wrong or presumptuous with having a wedding list. It is only considered bad taste if you try to force your wedding list onto your guests.
Therefore, together with your fiancée you will need to compile a gift list in readiness for when your invitations are sent out so that it is available when your guests ask for it. Please note, your gift list should only be made available to guests upon request and should not be included with your invitations as this is still considered bad manners by many and it will cause offence to some of your guests. It is a well known nuptial nicety that those attending your wedding will buy you a gift – your guests will not need to be reminded of this!
Q: Tell me about the Legal Bits
Ans: Traditionally, the groom is responsible for ensuring the legal requirements are fulfilled together with paying the church or registrar’s fees. The legal preliminaries vary depending on how you choose to marry and where. For example, if you plan to get married in your bride’s parish church and you live in another parish, it is your responsibility to ensure your marriage is authorised by the reading of the banns in your own parish (a Church of England requirement). If you have chosen a civil wedding to be held outside the registration district in which you live, it is your responsibility to ‘give notice’ at your local register office.
The Groom may also be responsible for organising the wedding insurance.
Q: How do I go about choosing my Groomsmen
Ans: Choosing your best man and ushers is not always as easy as it sounds? Traditionally, the role of best man is offered to your closest male relative or best friend. However, it should be some one that will be ready, willing and able to take on the responsibilities and duties, not only on the day itself but also during preparations. It is equally important that whomever you ask is acceptable to your bride as the day could easily be spoiled if you choose someone she isn’t comfortable with. Ushers generally are chosen from both sides of the family but can quite acceptably be a group of friends.
Q: The Honeymoon
Ans: If your wedding is being paid for by your bride’s parents it is traditionally expected that the groom will pay for the honeymoon. However, where once the groom was expected to surprise his bride with their honeymoon destination, nowadays most couples make a joint decision so that the appropriate clothing etc can be packed. Where you are not leaving for your honeymoon destination on the day of your wedding it is also your responsibility to book an appropriate venue for the nights in between. Be sure to advise the hotel that it is your wedding night as you will be surprised at the extras that are often included free of charge. If you are flying to your honeymoon destination, also tell the airline company that you are a honeymoon couple as you may be offered extras including seat upgrades.
Q: Wedding Outfits
Ans: Once the bride’s style and colour schemes have been decided upon, you need to decide upon the style of outfits you wish the men in your bridal party to wear.
If you are not wearing lounge suits (day suits) it is traditionally the responsibility of the groom to pay for the hire of outfits for the best man, ushers and himself. Therefore, you will need to arrange with the other males in the wedding party (including the bride’s father) to attend the outfitters, in order that you ensure a co-ordinated look and correct fittings. Arrange to collect your outfits a day or two before your wedding so there is time to deal with any problems that may arise.
Q: Wedding Rings
Ans: One of your more pleasant tasks is the choosing and buying of your bride’s wedding ring, a duty that is normally undertaken together. You are then responsible for the collection and payment for the ring and its safekeeping until the day of the wedding when you can pass this responsibility on to your best man. If you are to receive a wedding ring, it is traditional that your bride pays for it.
If you opt for a gold wedding ring, you need to consider how many carats the gold should be. A carat is the unit of measure for the fineness of gold, equal to 1/24 part. Pure gold is 24 carat; gold that is 75% pure is 18 carat. A band of pure gold will be too soft to last a lifetime, so it is hardened by alloying with other metals. The purest gold recommended for jewellery is 22 carat, whereas the hardest wearing gold generally available is 9 carat, which is 37.5% pure. It is recommended that the fineness of your bride’s wedding ring matches her engagement ring so that one does not wear away the other.
Q: Preparing Your Speech
Ans: The dreaded speech is probably the one duty that you fear the most but it has to be done as it is basic courtesy to thank your guests for their attendance and gifts on behalf of you and your wife. For your own peace of mind prepare in plenty of time, giving yourself time to practice and perfect your speech.
Q:Your Stag Night
Ans: Although the organisation of the stag night traditionally falls to the best man, it is advisable to try and have some involvement, bearing in mind that what your friends might consider to be a great practical joke could result in much embarrassment and explaining.
Q: The Wedding Rehearsal
Ans: If you marry in church one of your last duties, before the big day, will be to attend the rehearsal. This will involve yourself and your bride, together with the best man, bridesmaid and sometimes the bride’s father, going through the order of service with the minister so that you all know what to do and where to stand etc. on the day. The rehearsal usually takes place during the week preceding your wedding.
Tried and true advice and off course we would love to do the flowers for that wedding!
Oh yes….we continued to politely overhear his last comment….He said the first dance will be, ‘Stay with you’ by of course Taurrus Riley
The London Flower Lover