Beloved Flower Lover,
Is using flowers a trick to get a job? she asked.
She had worked at all sorts of jobs in the past. She had two babies in the last six years and compared that to work.
Today she felt sure that she was now ready to return to a career outside of the home. She really did enjoy home life, mothering, domestic life, yet felt her husband would prefer her working outside the home, so she made it her goal. She looked at women who work outside the home, as very glamorous and was not sure about what she was now offering.
She was suspicious about how ‘parents’ went about finding work outside the home and was looking at how could she get herself together. How did they do it?
She was in the house all day and was impatient because she wanted to see him more. She felt it would be better at home if more money came into the house and he would change his mind…about what?
Why was she feeling so threatened?
Why the enmity, the rancor?
After a day of much tears and not being able to get any affection from her husband who was locked into ‘his’ very busy corporate job. She decided to stop their big battle of the wills and breathe.
Her imagination was over stating the importance of the issues to the point that her peace was in pieces. She imagined skinny women smiling at him all day as they filed invoices. She felt forced to change. She was open to removing the blind fold of her old ways and was prepared to use the job searching as her ‘metaphor’.
“The power struggle stops here”.”I put down my side of the tug ‘o’ war,no more poison darts”, she murmured before she went to bed and kissed his hand gently.
Bright the next morning she explained to her, how she was fed up of the CV lottery. She felt uninspired by the mathematical probability of getting a job. A topic at the front of her mind especially as she was currently delivering one to one home tutoring to local GCSE Maths students about how to complete a probability tree.
Although she could see she was emotionally exaggerating about the odds of her being noticed in the London job, describing it as being ‘like her winning the lottery’. But it felt like it to her, especially when she was being told that her CV was wrong by the local job centre. The picture was too big, too overwhelming too gloomy. No joy!
She wanted to find another way of approaching what was be-deviling her heart and keeping her feeling bereft of her man.
She was sitting in her front room which she had recently given a deep spring clean and looked at the beautiful vase of flowers. She stared at them. And before you knew it she was taking out the kids water colours, paper and painting. This triggered an idea of how she could help to see herself as beautiful and wanted as the flowers she saw.
Get creative she said. She got busy.
She called each friend she knew who she felt was open for creativity and met with them.
At each meeting she brought them a bunch of flowers and said “this is a thank you for helping me find my ideal job, get my ideal body and celebrating everything that is right with me”…their faces lit up.
Responses from “oh yes”, to “so glad to help” to “let’s start right now, thank you”
One of the friends a wonderful manly man instructed immediately.
“The first thing you do is to write down a list of your passions. Her eyebrows raised as he pointed to the pen and expected her to write.
“Relish them. Become intrigued by them. Find out how they turn you on. A full body sort of turn on. So you feel juicy. Very juicy. Only then go and interview five people in London about that job and bring them ‘thank you flowers’ like the way you have done with me.”
She wrote down his dictation in full.
“Then go into your kitchen and cook up an inspiring meal just for you each day. It must have colour, smell and totally feel breathtaking to you . Feel your inner Nigella darling sweet heart”
“When we talk again I only want to talk about the juiciest, most succulent meal you have made. That is all.” He hugged and kissed her and left.
….spreading the love…the juice, the sauciest energies and was out of the house most days now…Her mobile phone was ringing lot’s, she was creating.
One of the phone calls was from one of girlfriend who called her up each morning…to listen to her ten self love statements. “ok, tell me the ten today …
Another call was from a friend who asked her to dress in her most figure hugging exercise clothes and be ready for some belly dancing. She had a blast!
She was really sharing her juicy energy and so many of her friends were being real with her. And enjoying it!
She finally was allowed to interview the people who she admired and gave them the flowers. She finally did it. And although she did not get a job, she learnt lot’s.
She was different now anyway and smiling a lot.
Calm and smiley she got a phone call from one of the ‘passion interviewees’ who basically invited her to work part time for a month ‘without pay’ with the possibility of a job opportunity.
She took it.
Giving the flowers circulated a sweet currency of joy that had so much more juice.
She was at peace. Not from the many outcomes she had achieved but because she realised that peace was her nature. She was smiling at home. It was natural. That the affection challenge was never her enemy. It was a gift that opened her up intimately to her true self.
She had tapped into herself.And as she got over herself, she looked at herself and realised that ‘nothing was ever ever against her’. More reasons to smile at her herself and husband.
She smiled as she felt she learnt to speak her own language…flowers,peace and joy
The London Flower Lover
p.s. after 3 weeks of all of this, hubby kept calling from his office, even texting to book a date with his wife, alone!