Flowers for ‘Bad Mothers’

TheLondonFlowerLover

Beloved flower Lover,

Hello ‘bad mother’ have we got your attention! “Apparently confession is good for the mothers soul”, this according to http://www.badmothersanonymous.com/ , made us smile as we began to prepare our Flowers for Mothering Sunday blog post.

OK, the way we humbly see it, is that the good/ bad mother’s question is unique to our generation.

We are gripped by the terror that we’re not Good Mothers. That so-called Good Mothers can be so bad for their children that we need to be punished.  Over-anxious and over-ambitious for their offspring, ‘bad mothers’, can risk making themselves and their family feel like failures. It’s like, good mothers don’t just want the best for their children: in their minds, if their sons and daughters are not super-brains with armfuls of certificates, then what have all their maternal sacrifices been for?

Amazing.

Some of us mothers are trying to find fault with each other. We openly police each other, wanting to find a mother who’s not as good as us, so we won’t feel so bad.

How does it feel to admit that being a bad mother, on Mothering Sunday, isn’t always the greatest job in the world. Does it make you a bad parent?  Because we know what we believe, we experience, we wonder what women of today actually want to create energetically and see reflected back into their lives.

Well we were reminded by the energy of a conversation about a mother who quit her job recently to stay home because she thought it would be so great. Yet guess what. To her shock and horror,  the feeling of joy at being a stay-at-home mum lasted barely a nano second. Even though she’d opted to leave her job, she was consumed with guilt.

Energetically, she felt she’d betrayed her mother, feminism and her self. She explained that her mother’s generation had sacrificed so much to give her opportunities they never had, and she’d thrown them back in her face. Her mother also made no secret of the fact that she couldn’t understand her decision. She still can’t.

But, most unexpected of all, she found being a full-time mother dull and mega boring. And she realised that one of the darkest, deepest shames so many of us mothers feel nowadays is our fear that we are ‘Bad Mothers’, that we are failing our children and falling far short of some indefinable ideal.

We felt a hush and quiver in the room as we read the draft of this blog post to the team. Denial was now revealed, the elephant in the room was now seen!

A Good Mother is never fed up, is she? She is never miserable. A Good Mother doesn’t resent leaving her telephone chat to coo over her child’s drawing.

We are convinced that this obsession about being a Good Mother has its roots in feminism, that knew little of the energetic difference between ‘man-made’ and ‘divine laws’.

We’ve realised that the workplace isn’t conducive to being a working mother. We’ve either quit to become full-time mothers, or we’ve carried on with our careers compromised by the pull of children at home. Either way, we experience emotional stresses, experiencing the ups and downs of fear, anger, grief, sadness, worry and anxiety.  Either by quitting or being torn two different ways , that we feel we’d better be Good Mothers and have perfect children. Otherwise what was it all for?

We’ve know that fearful energy around trying too hard to be a Good Mother and overloading our children, work, relationships with unfair expectations.

We are interested in stimulating creative energy which changes the dynamic of that energy so our visions are experienced. We learnt quickly that  a parent can allow their delight and pride in their children to be spoiled by disappointment, by frustration when the children fail to live up to expectations formed before they were even born . Expectations that have nothing to do with them and everything to do with the parent’s own energetic dreams. Quite simply, trying too hard to be a Good Mother can be bad for our children. Here at the team, we wanted to change that energy dynamic.

We have found that Motherhood can become stressfully competitive. Even down to the cards and flowers we get from our children. Instead of supporting each other, some mothers love to beat each other up. Some of us feel that if we can find a mother who’s more selfish than we are, that makes us a better mother. We are interested in how to use flowers to change that energy dynamic.

What is it about parenting that allows us to be so nasty to each other?  We have all made mistakes, like from forgetting to invite the ‘Tooth Fairy to visit’, to failing to turn up at school when the children are putting on a show. Yet the real scoop is that all of this is really supporting us to open up to change our focus. To dialogue with our emotions and learn how we can step back and relate differently to our feelings.

Infinite love and gratitude for that.

So, what’s the solution? What could we get excited about? What is the focus of what we want to experience in our hearts? Joy, peace, happiness maybe?

The London Flower Lover

We are simply interested in how we can be inspired, to feel  joy,peace,appreciation of motherhood,especially during the times when we are not openly cherishing ourselves.

It feels to us that it’s time we all accepted ourselves for who we really are: mothers who do our best, and for whom that is good enough. Even if, in the end, our best turns out to be, simply, not bad.

Introducing new energy, through flower energy, helps to change our focus. Giving and receiving flowers has led us to discover ‘the laws’, that govern life.  Giving flowers can even feel like a beautiful ‘life-line’. We give thanks for being able to use their beauty to charge up our imagination to create feelings of peace,joy and happiness.

We give thanks for flowers because they taught us how just by giving and receiving beautiful flowers that we trigger biochemically, feelings of calm, peace and relaxation in the body. Just by getting into the movie theatre of our minds to rehearse good feelings, we then know through genuine feelings of something we would prefer to focus on. Peace, love and joy. These are then released as associated hormones in the sender and receiver’s body.

Sharing floral images of beauty will only help us release health promoting, stress eradicating hormones into our lives. Thus changing their life.

We can guarantee that when you want to celebrate mothers and you want to know what flowers to choose, That by connecting to your heart, that you will experience the full immersion of their loveliness.  As you return to that calm place and connect with the heart of your subconscious core, you will make a heartfelt choice.

We give thanks for the opportunity to enjoy Mothering Sunday everyday, because you are perfect right now. Right now.

The Team

The London Flower Lover

p.s.

We hope you too can laugh at confessions from   http://www.badmothersanonymous.com/ , as much as we did.

TheLondonFlowerLover

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About Thelondonflowerlover

Welcome to The London Flower Lover. We are florists who create floral collections to tell your real life story. With colour and texture, we take floristry into an entirely new direction based on the challenges and joys of your life. Offering what we call 'heart based floristry' we use style, fashion, and life situations and merge them with heart based lifestyle support. This inspiring blend creates so much more for those who love flowers. Using flowers in the traditional way of course, but always using flowers to open up a floralicious conversation about relationships of all kinds. We are a sort of work in progress of compassionately confirming how we are already on the inside, the love we want to see out in the world. That is mission of The London Flower Lover. So saying yes to recognising that is at the heart of this blog and using flowers to honour that inner world is how we use the beauty of giving and receiving flowers. This blog is your blog. It's as much about cultivating your heart, as it is about enjoying the physical beauty of flowers. It offers story, poems and video to reflect the life you actually live whilst showing beautifully inspiring collections of flower designs. Hand-tied bouquets, arrangements and more. All this with sought after tips from well established experts on how to keep a happy heart. This is what makes The London Flower Lover unique and magical. Yes, and that's how we make the difference that we do. When life looks, feels, or sounds challenging, we offer a sanctuary that you may dip into. A well of refreshment and strength that you may draw from. Sharing what others have found to be successful ways of being happy in the face of challenges, whilst letting flowers do the talking when we have no other way to interpret what is going on. Use flowers to help you re-discover, reveal and remember how you can still be despite challenges. Use flowers to celebrate and to embody the possibility of your heart felt desire, fulfilled. Use flowers in your life, to remind you of the beauty of your life. Use The London Flower Lover today. We invite you to stay curious in this floral universe as you explore the love in the heart. This is a floralicious world.
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13 Responses to Flowers for ‘Bad Mothers’

  1. Love that idea, many thanks for sharing your unique angle, much appreciated.

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  2. Hi, flowers for bad mothers is really amazing, I think now I have a strong hold over the topic after going through the post. I will surely come back for more information.Thanks so much

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  3. living4bliss says:

    I am in the U.S. and we have a similar celebration in May called Mother’s Day.

    You are so right in many of your assessments of motherhood (I am the mother of 2 rather precocious grown children.) We often forget that before we became mothers, we were women and once our offspring leave the nest, we will remain women. We must keep our roles as mothers as one of the many things that make us who we are.

    I fear for the “mommies” of the world who are so wrapped up in their offspring that they will have nothing left of themselves when the children leave home. Children will leave home, the job of a mother is to prepare them (and yourself) for that day.

    Thank you.

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    • Your words have so much wisdom.We give thanks for your insight. Some how encouraging women and men to shift their inner conflicting perceptions, to ones which all line up that support positive values.

      We in our work can help women relax, from life stresses (that’s where the beauty of flowers comes in), because we are really interested in what we can do in terms of beauty and design which in turn can create an internal environment where we as women and men, can feel comfortable enough to find the core issues that kept them feeling less than. Yes, helping them to release and change their identity as women, to an identity that is positive is what we enjoy. We are interested in how we can help women change the way they react and respond from a new set of beliefs. If you have any ideas for joint projects, let us know. By the way, we really enjoy reading your blog, it’s inspiring and we send you the very best across the great pond.

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      • living4bliss says:

        Thank you so much. I do so adore your blog as well. Your flowers really make me happy.

        I recently moved to a very dry climate and have not done well with my gardening efforts (I’m getting better, though) so seeing a daffodil really makes a big difference in my day.

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  4. Pingback: Happy Mothers Day! Again | The London Flower Lover

  5. Pingback: Happy Mothers Day: USA | The London Flower Lover

  6. Kay Ali says:

    Thank you for creating this brilliant mix of video and flower pics. I am thinking about flowers very differently now because of you.

    Like

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