Flowers for ‘Bad Mothers’

TheLondonFlowerLover

Beloved flower Lover,

Hello ‘bad mother’ have we got your attention! “Apparently confession is good for the mothers soul”, this according to http://www.badmothersanonymous.com/ , made us smile as we began to prepare our Flowers for Mothering Sunday blog post.

OK, the way we humbly see it, is that the good/ bad mother’s question is unique to our generation.

We are gripped by the terror that we’re not Good Mothers. That so-called Good Mothers can be so bad for their children that we need to be punished.  Over-anxious and over-ambitious for their offspring, ‘bad mothers’, can risk making themselves and their family feel like failures. It’s like, good mothers don’t just want the best for their children: in their minds, if their sons and daughters are not super-brains with armfuls of certificates, then what have all their maternal sacrifices been for?

Amazing.

Some of us mothers are trying to find fault with each other. We openly police each other, wanting to find a mother who’s not as good as us, so we won’t feel so bad.

How does it feel to admit that being a bad mother, on Mothering Sunday, isn’t always the greatest job in the world. Does it make you a bad parent?  Because we know what we believe, we experience, we wonder what women of today actually want to create energetically and see reflected back into their lives.

Well we were reminded by the energy of a conversation about a mother who quit her job recently to stay home because she thought it would be so great. Yet guess what. To her shock and horror,  the feeling of joy at being a stay-at-home mum lasted barely a nano second. Even though she’d opted to leave her job, she was consumed with guilt.

Energetically, she felt she’d betrayed her mother, feminism and her self. She explained that her mother’s generation had sacrificed so much to give her opportunities they never had, and she’d thrown them back in her face. Her mother also made no secret of the fact that she couldn’t understand her decision. She still can’t.

But, most unexpected of all, she found being a full-time mother dull and mega boring. And she realised that one of the darkest, deepest shames so many of us mothers feel nowadays is our fear that we are ‘Bad Mothers’, that we are failing our children and falling far short of some indefinable ideal.

We felt a hush and quiver in the room as we read the draft of this blog post to the team. Denial was now revealed, the elephant in the room was now seen!

A Good Mother is never fed up, is she? She is never miserable. A Good Mother doesn’t resent leaving her telephone chat to coo over her child’s drawing.

We are convinced that this obsession about being a Good Mother has its roots in feminism, that knew little of the energetic difference between ‘man-made’ and ‘divine laws’.

We’ve realised that the workplace isn’t conducive to being a working mother. We’ve either quit to become full-time mothers, or we’ve carried on with our careers compromised by the pull of children at home. Either way, we experience emotional stresses, experiencing the ups and downs of fear, anger, grief, sadness, worry and anxiety.  Either by quitting or being torn two different ways , that we feel we’d better be Good Mothers and have perfect children. Otherwise what was it all for?

We’ve know that fearful energy around trying too hard to be a Good Mother and overloading our children, work, relationships with unfair expectations.

We are interested in stimulating creative energy which changes the dynamic of that energy so our visions are experienced. We learnt quickly that  a parent can allow their delight and pride in their children to be spoiled by disappointment, by frustration when the children fail to live up to expectations formed before they were even born . Expectations that have nothing to do with them and everything to do with the parent’s own energetic dreams. Quite simply, trying too hard to be a Good Mother can be bad for our children. Here at the team, we wanted to change that energy dynamic.

We have found that Motherhood can become stressfully competitive. Even down to the cards and flowers we get from our children. Instead of supporting each other, some mothers love to beat each other up. Some of us feel that if we can find a mother who’s more selfish than we are, that makes us a better mother. We are interested in how to use flowers to change that energy dynamic.

What is it about parenting that allows us to be so nasty to each other?  We have all made mistakes, like from forgetting to invite the ‘Tooth Fairy to visit’, to failing to turn up at school when the children are putting on a show. Yet the real scoop is that all of this is really supporting us to open up to change our focus. To dialogue with our emotions and learn how we can step back and relate differently to our feelings.

Infinite love and gratitude for that.

So, what’s the solution? What could we get excited about? What is the focus of what we want to experience in our hearts? Joy, peace, happiness maybe?

The London Flower Lover

We are simply interested in how we can be inspired, to feel  joy,peace,appreciation of motherhood,especially during the times when we are not openly cherishing ourselves.

It feels to us that it’s time we all accepted ourselves for who we really are: mothers who do our best, and for whom that is good enough. Even if, in the end, our best turns out to be, simply, not bad.

Introducing new energy, through flower energy, helps to change our focus. Giving and receiving flowers has led us to discover ‘the laws’, that govern life.  Giving flowers can even feel like a beautiful ‘life-line’. We give thanks for being able to use their beauty to charge up our imagination to create feelings of peace,joy and happiness.

We give thanks for flowers because they taught us how just by giving and receiving beautiful flowers that we trigger biochemically, feelings of calm, peace and relaxation in the body. Just by getting into the movie theatre of our minds to rehearse good feelings, we then know through genuine feelings of something we would prefer to focus on. Peace, love and joy. These are then released as associated hormones in the sender and receiver’s body.

Sharing floral images of beauty will only help us release health promoting, stress eradicating hormones into our lives. Thus changing their life.

We can guarantee that when you want to celebrate mothers and you want to know what flowers to choose, That by connecting to your heart, that you will experience the full immersion of their loveliness.  As you return to that calm place and connect with the heart of your subconscious core, you will make a heartfelt choice.

We give thanks for the opportunity to enjoy Mothering Sunday everyday, because you are perfect right now. Right now.

The Team

The London Flower Lover

p.s.

We hope you too can laugh at confessions from   http://www.badmothersanonymous.com/ , as much as we did.

TheLondonFlowerLover

About Thelondonflowerlover

Most busy people struggle with knowing how to really give themselves the time they deserve for genuine self caring. They can get so lost in their daily responsibilities that they lose themselves. They can get sick, tired, or just lose their way. We provide self caring and self loving packages that make use of the natural relaxing abilities of tools like flowers, and so much more, all designed to give a reliable, regular, rebalancing booster, to recharge their inner batteries so that they can enjoy life again. So welcome to this Floralicious universe, where you are the hero. Yes, that's right. We know that you have one clear desire. To be happy. We also know that something is stopping you from getting it. That is where we step in.a Things get done because you allow them to. We are your guide florists who provide you with answers for that stress. We do this using baby steps, providing you with relaxing and beautiful flowers to help you connect with your wellness. In our baby step plans we combine flowers, with a holistic appreciation of what it takes for you to be free of your challenge. In our opinion you are a hero, not a helpless victim. It is our belief that no one needs to struggle with stress if they are guided properly. We gently guide those who are stressed at work, at home or anywhere in between. We guide those who have declared that its time to stop dabbling with what they desire. And using those baby steps, we carefully guide those who are ready to experience a transformation. We would never deny the fact that flowers for your birthday, holidays and special occasions are amazing to send and receive. Those florist that specifically specialise in that line of floristry are fantastic. Yet what we are doing here points you in another direction. It's deeper. It points your attention inwards. To self. To boost yourself up on a REGULAR basis. That's a part of how we guide you through to become free of your stress. We invite you to see how life is breathing you and how you are part of life's nature. So what you uncover is really you discovering your own awesomeness. You learn how that is natural and not an exception. From that point of view , we are inviting you to let go of dabbling around . This process that aligns you with the truth of your nature,puts asleep those doubts that interfere with your desires.Putting asleep the elephant in the room and inviting you to discover your own process of moving from feeling stressed to calm, from feeling uncertainty to being confident, from feeling lonely to being in gratitude for the connections with others. We recognise what you want. We know. We have been there ourselves. We know how it feels and that all you need is a guide, to give you a plan to help you win the day. So we invite you to take the next baby step. If we don't call you to take action, then we are not helping you and life will only stay the same. It will reflect an unexplored set of feelings about your self that could harm your future. Lets put those to sleep and be focused on what is awake within you. We invite you to go forward and take the first tinniest baby step now. THE FLORALICIOUS PLAN Step 1 Sign up to The London Flower Lover blog. Open up your Floralicious conversation about relaxation, perception and flowers of all kinds. Step 2 Sign up for the empowerment plan that will work for you. At this stage are really ready to commit to your self caring. So choose your plan carefully. Each plan makes you available to the mechanics of your personal wholeness because you allow yourself to. No one is forcing you. Each plan gives you a reliable schedule of activity to bring your attention back to yourself. These plans use a mixture of techniques to awaken you . Repeatedly offered through story, gratitude journaling and more as you reflect the life you desire to breathe life into. By using flowers, you experience the boost of beautifully inspiring collections of flower designs. All you need to do is to align with that feeling. This is what makes this package a personal attunement to your natural aliveness and abundance! Step 3 You are now ready to use very specific flowers and self gifting to help you express yourself. You are ready to give yourself a licence to express yourself like never before. No longer intimidated by stress, you use flowers and self gifting to express the life that is breathing you. Your awesomeness is re-discovered, revealed and remembered. We invite you into your own Floralicious universe as you unwind, relax and enjoy happiness beyond stress.
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13 Responses to Flowers for ‘Bad Mothers’

  1. Love that idea, many thanks for sharing your unique angle, much appreciated.

  2. Hi, flowers for bad mothers is really amazing, I think now I have a strong hold over the topic after going through the post. I will surely come back for more information.Thanks so much

  3. living4bliss says:

    I am in the U.S. and we have a similar celebration in May called Mother’s Day.

    You are so right in many of your assessments of motherhood (I am the mother of 2 rather precocious grown children.) We often forget that before we became mothers, we were women and once our offspring leave the nest, we will remain women. We must keep our roles as mothers as one of the many things that make us who we are.

    I fear for the “mommies” of the world who are so wrapped up in their offspring that they will have nothing left of themselves when the children leave home. Children will leave home, the job of a mother is to prepare them (and yourself) for that day.

    Thank you.

    • Your words have so much wisdom.We give thanks for your insight. Some how encouraging women and men to shift their inner conflicting perceptions, to ones which all line up that support positive values.

      We in our work can help women relax, from life stresses (that’s where the beauty of flowers comes in), because we are really interested in what we can do in terms of beauty and design which in turn can create an internal environment where we as women and men, can feel comfortable enough to find the core issues that kept them feeling less than. Yes, helping them to release and change their identity as women, to an identity that is positive is what we enjoy. We are interested in how we can help women change the way they react and respond from a new set of beliefs. If you have any ideas for joint projects, let us know. By the way, we really enjoy reading your blog, it’s inspiring and we send you the very best across the great pond.

    • living4bliss says:

      Thank you so much. I do so adore your blog as well. Your flowers really make me happy.

      I recently moved to a very dry climate and have not done well with my gardening efforts (I’m getting better, though) so seeing a daffodil really makes a big difference in my day.

  4. Pingback: Happy Mothers Day! Again | The London Flower Lover

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  6. Kay Ali says:

    Thank you for creating this brilliant mix of video and flower pics. I am thinking about flowers very differently now because of you.

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