Use flowers as you make change your ally-Simple self compassion exercise

Beloved Flower Lover,

Ruth Buczynski had been talking to Reid Tracy from Hay House Radio about how we all need to practice changing, so we can adapt to the world as it changes.

Sounds good we said!

Ruth pointed out that our brains are designed to look for patterns, which means we  seek out routine and stability. Sounds cool and in many ways it is. However a major problem with this she says is that this can eventually lead us into a rut if we do not add novelty, difference and change into our lives. It can create much harm for us because we forget how to cope with change.

Because our brains are wired for looking for pattern if we do not add diversity and novelty then it can also lead us to avoiding change.Or preventing adaptation. This stagnation, also known more commonly as boredom means we are no not as practiced to adapt to a new situation.The bigger more significant consequence of that is  in a world of constant change, we actually put our selves at major risk as we avoid adapting to change. She basically is suggesting we make friends with our own needs for routine and change. She suggest that by becoming more intimate with ourselves. To learn how we can change through self love and self compassion-which in themselves are perspectives many of us need  specific support processes in place to help bring them forward.

So Ruth suggests brain exercises to help us to make ‘change our ally’.

She suggests too change a pattern each day so the brain experiences pleasure rather than pain when you require it to change on purpose. She suggests lots of things to do, like do something different each day, or make friends with our challenges-do them first.

Yes most striking for us here, she said, was about letting go of self referential ideas. Another big word we had to break down for ourselves. She self referential means we think the world is all about us.  and it comes into play as we size ourselves up next to someone else and always come out worst.  She points to lots of research calling it a major source of self inflicted suffering.


Her antidote-  self compassion.

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In a very simple way Ruth suggests putting our hands on our hearts, closing our eyes, and noticing our breathing. As we notice other thoughts pop in, to just go back and notice our breathing. After doing that for a while, allowing our inner eye to  see a situation where you saw yourself as less than someone else.Do that first and take the next step in the story by sending loving caring compassion to yourself. And then to take the story one step further. Yes, to see in your own mind eyes everyone else you could imagine in the world who feels the same receiving nurture, love, and care.

She suggests that as you do that, you are supporting your own process of change because you are breaking the reoccurring process of creating negative stories of yourself in a negative situation which never go no where and re loop back into the same negative loop,which eventually drains your own powers of enthusiasm and inspiration. Dr Buczynski points out that there are many academic studies that back up each others findings that agree with the positive interrupting impacts of self compassion.

In essence, as you have self compassion , and then imagine in your minds eye, others with that same problem, now receiving all that love, care and compassion that you shift from pain and into joy.

Back in our world, we can see how people who need to change, at work, home, can actually add the  inner process of imagining sending love and kindness, by formally sending flower to self and others, already imagining them  openly being  received.


What next in this story?

Well, we would love to know your findings.

Please it us know what you found happening if you choose to use this stimulating brain exercise, which is designed to help us to break  out of auto-pilot and build new brain pathways that help us to respond in the present day in ways that we feel confident.  Rather than be based on a past pecking order which may have left us feeling less than we want to feel.


Feeling good, about use self compassion to change our inner story and the story of others for the best. So, please keep us posted.


The Team,

The London Flower Lover




About Thelondonflowerlover

Welcome to The London Flower Lover. We are florists who create floral collections to tell your real life story. With colour and texture, we take floristry into an entirely new direction based on the challenges and joys of your life. Offering what we call 'heart based floristry' we use style, fashion, and life situations and merge them with heart based lifestyle support. This inspiring blend creates so much more for those who love flowers. Using flowers in the traditional way of course, but always using flowers to open up a floralicious conversation about relationships of all kinds. We are a sort of work in progress of compassionately confirming how we are already on the inside, the love we want to see out in the world. That is mission of The London Flower Lover. So saying yes to recognising that is at the heart of this blog and using flowers to honour that inner world is how we use the beauty of giving and receiving flowers. This blog is your blog. It's as much about cultivating your heart, as it is about enjoying the physical beauty of flowers. It offers story, poems and video to reflect the life you actually live whilst showing beautifully inspiring collections of flower designs. Hand-tied bouquets, arrangements and more. All this with sought after tips from well established experts on how to keep a happy heart. This is what makes The London Flower Lover unique and magical. Yes, and that's how we make the difference that we do. When life looks, feels, or sounds challenging, we offer a sanctuary that you may dip into. A well of refreshment and strength that you may draw from. Sharing what others have found to be successful ways of being happy in the face of challenges, whilst letting flowers do the talking when we have no other way to interpret what is going on. Use flowers to help you re-discover, reveal and remember how you can still be despite challenges. Use flowers to celebrate and to embody the possibility of your heart felt desire, fulfilled. Use flowers in your life, to remind you of the beauty of your life. Use The London Flower Lover today. We invite you to stay curious in this floral universe as you explore the love in the heart. This is a floralicious world.
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