We had the opportunity to enjoy a very personal funeral last friday, and are still smiling. Our work done, we pondered on a life and came across a story about Bronnie Ware, an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.
Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. “When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently,” she says, “common themes surfaced again and again.”
Here are the top five regrets of the dying, witnessed by Ware:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
“This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.”
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
“Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
“This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”
We paused, exhaled deeply felt the rebirth of our smile and smiled even more brightly.
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A very good lesson.
I need to start doing more things I’m proud of, that’s my I wish. I’m glad I’m in a position to still make this happen.
A wonderful post and not written too heavily – inspiring despite the sad tone!
Thank you for your lovely comment. Everyone has a story and we all are inspired by how people can decide to accept their lives as perfect no matter what. For some reason, Frank Sinatra’s song,” I did it my way” comes to mind.
Thank you for visiting, we really welcome your input, we love your input. It’s our privilege to be able to share this in our ‘love you , follow you’, community.
Makes me think if I’m really happy with what I’m doing now. Hopefully, I am because by the time I grow old, I dont want to look back and say that my life lived was a life wasted.
We give thanks for your lovely comment. is like a soft gentle whisper into the ear which acknowledges how you feel right now and repeats a truth….”Your life is precious whatever it’s external outcome. Your heart can be as light as a feather because,however big or small the external results, because you are peace,joy and happiness by nature, and thats who you are, its where you came from. You do not have to earn that preciousness,or your value. It’s your birthright.”
The London Flower Lover 
A very good lesson.
I need to start doing more things I’m proud of, that’s my I wish. I’m glad I’m in a position to still make this happen.
A wonderful post and not written too heavily – inspiring despite the sad tone!
Thank you for your lovely comment. Everyone has a story and we all are inspired by how people can decide to accept their lives as perfect no matter what. For some reason, Frank Sinatra’s song,” I did it my way” comes to mind.
I really like this post. Lots of food for thought. Thanks for posting it.
Thank you for visiting, we really welcome your input, we love your input. It’s our privilege to be able to share this in our ‘love you , follow you’, community.
Makes me think if I’m really happy with what I’m doing now. Hopefully, I am because by the time I grow old, I dont want to look back and say that my life lived was a life wasted.
We give thanks for your lovely comment. is like a soft gentle whisper into the ear which acknowledges how you feel right now and repeats a truth….”Your life is precious whatever it’s external outcome. Your heart can be as light as a feather because,however big or small the external results, because you are peace,joy and happiness by nature, and thats who you are, its where you came from. You do not have to earn that preciousness,or your value. It’s your birthright.”
Reblogged this on realmanure and commented:
A phenomenal read. Stop what you are doing and thinking. Read this!
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