Don’t change who you are: I am with you during sickness and health: that’s why I am giving you these flowers.

Beloved Flower Lover,

I gently awoke this morning to the telly on very quietly. It was on really low. My husband was watching Team GB and had just pulled a puff on his cigarette.

He is ill.

He returned to bed, and was weazing.

He turned to me and said he needed to tell me something.

He told me that his blood sugar was high and as I hugged him, I felt him disappear. I realise that I was terrified. I could not change his health. I could not make a difference. I felt it was pointless to push him to be optimistic. I thought about the yellow roses  still in the kitchen in the vase that where for him.

yellow roses

I felt bad because I was scared, vulnerable because I can’t change his health. I am terrified that if he sees this fear that he can’t draw strength from me.I am scared of losing him. My husband, but i stay with him.  I am not going to try to make him feel different, I am ok with how he feels. I am here for him just as he is. I do not need him to be different for me. I do not need him to be better just because I can see he is ill. I am ok with him, just as he is. With is illness.

I do still ask him not to smoke in the bedroom whilst I hug him. I love him. it’s ok for him to be ill. I have his heart already, he has mine. Instead I asked, how can we play more while we are still here together. That’s what I want from us. Just playing and enjoying what ever we want to do with each other.

 

The Team

The London Flower Lover

p.s. Teal has news for us in the video below she says… The door to your heart will be unlocked the minute you get that you have adopted a very unconscious and extremely painful limiting belief that you cannot have yourself and have other people at the same time. And guess what? It isn’t true. There doesn’t have to be a conflict between your sense of self and connecting with other people. You can have boundaries and have connection. You can have yourself and have other people at the exact same time

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About Thelondonflowerlover

Welcome to The London Flower Lover. We are florists who create floral collections to tell your real life story. With colour and texture, we take floristry into an entirely new direction based on the challenges and joys of your life. Offering what we call 'heart based floristry' we use style, fashion, and life situations and merge them with heart based lifestyle support. This inspiring blend creates so much more for those who love flowers. Using flowers in the traditional way of course, but always using flowers to open up a floralicious conversation about relationships of all kinds. We are a sort of work in progress of compassionately confirming how we are already on the inside, the love we want to see out in the world. That is mission of The London Flower Lover. So saying yes to recognising that is at the heart of this blog and using flowers to honour that inner world is how we use the beauty of giving and receiving flowers. This blog is your blog. It's as much about cultivating your heart, as it is about enjoying the physical beauty of flowers. It offers story, poems and video to reflect the life you actually live whilst showing beautifully inspiring collections of flower designs. Hand-tied bouquets, arrangements and more. All this with sought after tips from well established experts on how to keep a happy heart. This is what makes The London Flower Lover unique and magical. Yes, and that's how we make the difference that we do. When life looks, feels, or sounds challenging, we offer a sanctuary that you may dip into. A well of refreshment and strength that you may draw from. Sharing what others have found to be successful ways of being happy in the face of challenges, whilst letting flowers do the talking when we have no other way to interpret what is going on. Use flowers to help you re-discover, reveal and remember how you can still be despite challenges. Use flowers to celebrate and to embody the possibility of your heart felt desire, fulfilled. Use flowers in your life, to remind you of the beauty of your life. Use The London Flower Lover today. We invite you to stay curious in this floral universe as you explore the love in the heart. This is a floralicious world.
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4 Responses to Don’t change who you are: I am with you during sickness and health: that’s why I am giving you these flowers.

  1. So heart-rending and true. I am with you one hundred percent. My husband and I have been married almost 30 years, happily. Yesterday it hit me. I am quite a bit older. We are the love of each other’s life. At best I have ten or eleven years to live. He has many more than that. We knew this day would come. It came so fast and unexpectedly.

    This chapter will be bittersweet. I will watch him destroy his body by working physically too hard to support us.

    After breaking my back there is so much we will never get to do together. He will watch me age and wither on the vine, only at some point, to leave him alone. Even our family of dogs will be gone.

    I haven’t known what to do, but we shall follow suite….we will love each other and have each other’s back until this chapter ends.

    It is the best we can do, and we will oust any negativity out the door, and keep a welcoming door open for whatever is to come!

    Blessings, and love to you and your husband. Really-across the seas on a wisp of clouds.

    I believe in the next chapter we will all be whole and together again. Perhaps we will have a hug or two. I Wii send one more small addendum soon.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Like

    • Marsha, it was really quite scary to consider posting what was shared …..but it felt correct in the heart. Yes, we continue to work with flowers to support ourselves as much as others. Marsha its soooooooooooo touching that you shared so openl, because its still heart breaking to listening to his coughing and watch his blood sugar levels. However this work helps us to restore self. In fact after composing the post, it felt easier to communicate with him.He himself began to talk about eating celery! and went and bought some himself.

      Well it’s monday and we still watch him go to his cigarettes, but now he chooses to go to another room so we don’t smoke in the secondary smoke. Rather than hold the grudge at how can he do this to us,chosen to as you say ” keep a welcome door open for whatever is to come and embrace it!

      Many thanks for sharing with us all. Thank you so much, thank you.

      Like

  2. I hope your days and moments are spent wisely, and full of love. My husband and I both smoked. He smoked a pack a day for 20 years. I don’t know what happened. I was a part-time smoker-stress I guess. One day he suggested I quit because I smoked so little. I expressed my opinion he could never quit and within the week he quit cold turkey! I was so impressed that I had to quit. I think it was easier because we prodded each other when we got weak. I taught fitness and breathing techniques…how could I honestly continue! What happens after quitting in just 20 minutes your body begins to change and heal. It heals differently throughout a year….and I swear neither of us understands how we smoked now. We both have more energy, don’t cough, and feel better. I think what hit me the most was finally realizing we are oxygen machines, and we were cutting off of our oxygen supply!. The brain needs 50% more to think optimally. I hope and will pray for miracles in your lives. I thank you for all you post and present. Wonderful! Blessings and love.

    As an addendum, I did get up and photograph something every morning when you posted the five day challenge. Birds. Though I never got photos sent it was very inspiring to have that motivation.
    Thanks again!

    Like

    • Marsaha, you are such an inspiration. Thank you for your personal story. It is unique, but speaks so personally. We have been talking about the smokers cough and so much, so to recieve your update is really important to us. We are in full bloom and really all of this is part of ‘our’ messenger system, the alarm bell that tells us something. Your disclosure is so romantic. Yes. It’s real. The tango that we have with each other. Thank you for your radiant, wise words. It’s kinda scary to change, to dissolve an idea of perfection that the other does not want to embody and to instead practice what we preach instead. We know its about more.

      Scared that we would be missing out, that we would settle, or contract our dreams and start playing small. All because we did not desire the same around the smoking thing . We frantically scanned our hearts and could not find anything. All our dreams seems to have fallen away, we were no longer convinced that a certain lifestyle was critical and vital to our fulfilment. We were so attached to this experience. The possibility of letting it go and not having it put us all into the question space.
      The void
      The aftermath.
      We had to feel more deeply, more innocently all over again
      Investigating into the vitality to what once felt important.
      The aftermath after the dissolution.
      The blank space of not knowing
      Of being in the question
      In the unknown
      Good sign we kept keeping a space for beauty, flowers, and making that space our dream, our pleasure, our direction. We are opening up more to this being a turn on for that rather than a turn off for our real joy.

      Even as we felt we were slipping into mediocrity, settling, we found that another part of was relieved, as we saw the death of false desire. We could be in the surrender of letting it go and excited about what could arise in this newly freed up and created space. One of focusing on turning on real turn on’s

      Goody good and well done about the 5 day photo challenge. You continue to inspire and transform. We will do this again.

      Thanks Marsha, truly!

      Like

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