Beloved Flower Lover,
He followed his desire to put flowers in the bedroom knowing she would love them when she awoke…but was struggling his nature.
“I am in bed with this beauty and I feel even more naked, even though we have not been intimate. Is it wrong to want her when we are not a couple anymore?”
“I feel weighed down”.
Everytime I want to ‘unload’ and tell her I love her, I stop myself. And each time I want to choose her flowers, I stop. I have not unloaded all my frustration yet. I am not even sure if we are a couple anymore, but I love that she is still talking to me,that she still gives me space.”
The light was coming through the curtains …..it was the liminal time of change again.
She reaches out, smiles, starts playing and whispers…. “this is outside of our comfort zone…”giggling….”there is an upside to this awkward situation”….
- She whispers…I am Destructive
She repeatedly whispers in my ear that in modern and ancient coming of age ceremonies, the child being initiated into adulthood is often ritually wounded (e.g. circumcision, piercing, tattoos).
She tells me that liminality always requires a violent inciting incident.
Bruce Wayne’s parents must be killed for him to become Batman.
Elizabeth must realize she may never see Darcy again to discover she loves him.
She whispers to me to notice what’s happening in my life.
Transformation always requires death, death of the old person so they can become something new.
She repeatedly whispers,
“Let’s release what’s weighing you down… release creates increase…. then you cant wait to express yourself to me”
I am Chaotic-but I do not reject you
She repeatedly whispers….that she is a witness to all of my or your failed attempts to resolve the tension created by the inciting incident.
She knows all what’s you and I have experienced. what you and I have been through. All the familiar,typical,assumed conventional set backs and failures, but she loves me anyway.
She fully accepts me and she did does not reject me because when a person enters liminal space; their old value system is destroyed, causing them to become disoriented. They need a new value system to live by, and the experimentation they undertake to discover that value system is always uncomfortable and full of failure. The muse knows this.
That’s why she is so exciting and excited about us…..
In this space, the muse knows what Nietzsche says,
“your old god is dead,”
at least the old god, and the restraints that once held you back are no longer in force. In other words, they can do anything they want.The status quo will be destroyed to make room for something new.
The muse listens to your genuine desires. She ignores the naysayers and instead enjoys your genuine desires, not what you are seeking to escape.
“Unload yourself to me she said… enjoy releasing what is weighing you down”
3. I am brain overload by unloading your guilt,self judgment and regret
Through repetition I will invite you to release all that which is weighing you down… I will repeat it over and over again. Release and unload the guilt, judgment and regret.
In three columns list out the 3 major guilt’s, judgments and regrets you feel about a given area of your life. …then after some real playtime only, we will review them all….you are more than those constrictive expression of yourself…
4. I am Transformation
Embracing the tension between now and the next big thing. She repeatedly shows me to take neither gain nor loss to heart.
She repeatedly whispers in my ear that this is what liminality is all about, learning to live with tension and pain and even the boredom of waiting?
The middle of every life is about developing character, it’s where you, I, we, decide what kind of person we are going to be. Liminal places teach us to let go, relax, and be changed.
5. I am Contentment in Tension
She whispers …. let’s play…you deserve to be joyous and to have ‘sanctioned’ playtime.
The question implicit in this, and for you, is can you be content in the midst of tension? Can you find your equilibrium in a chaotic world?
She teaches me that a dead belief system can’t decide anything; that I need to sanction playtime.
She teaches me that I can sanction the use of flowers so I can sanction playtime.
In fact she demands that I give flowers to her so I can learn to play instead. she tells me that I must play everyday so I can get my natural buoyancy back.
She frees me, by repetition and overloading me with playtime, so I have true emotional relief — from the prison of my small mind.
Taking neither gain nor loss to heart is all about waiting.
Not just waiting to get your hair done, nails done, picking up the children at the school run, waiting in queue at the grocery store or waiting to renewing your driver’s license, waiting to renew your driver’s license, or waiting to love and commit and find the work you were meant to do. Our lives are full of inconvenient setbacks, not due to some mistake but because of a purpose we don’t comprehend.
“She taught me that laying during this time I am more in a time like Jesus in the wilderness (or better, three days dead), or Siddhartha under the tree, or St. John of the Cross’s dark night of the soul.
I must play, play, play she says…with her….I love her beauty because and it’s not just the sex…..I say yes to her…yes to her… yes, yes, yes…saying yes like to her is making me crazy for her…
In the waiting, I say yes to her, to my becoming….to being satisfied with the smallest steps of being with her.
She whispers….and I appreciate her even more now because she I understand that the peace, joy and beauty we seek to see in the world comes from my release of being weighted down by not being satisfied with the smallest ways in which I satisfy her.
She taught me to ‘let go of the pressure to perform’…and enjoy the fact that I am ready just the way I am, right now.
To let go of the overwhelm of trying to achieve everything now, to relax, and to instead identify the smallest steps. To prioritize the ease of each step and to mix that up during the day. Repeatedly she keeps reminding me that I am a person of accomplishment, because I am designed to accomplish when I am ready.
My muse satisfies me”
The London Flower Lover,
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