Beloved Flower Lover,
Welcome to day 15 of the 21-Day Self Care Bootcamp using Flowers.
Self care is not about ‘congratulations’ when we do all the ‘nice things’ that we have had planned for ourselves. Self care is about loving yourself with compassion when you make mistakes too.
What if you are able to love up on yourself when you did not achieve all your goals.
How does that sit with you?
Well we were thinking about the concept of being ‘in between a rock and a hard place’. Where what ever you do, or however you relate to someone, they will not ‘win’ in your eyes.
We sometimes do that to ourselves too. And admonishing ourselves until we get things right can be a bit much….we mean it, how many more beatings from our ‘inner child’ must we receive before we decide it’s enough. Well this became really clear on today’s May 4th Bank Holiday Monday in the UK.
“Bank holiday sucked”,
she said this to herself after looking at Facebook and seeing what everyone else did.
Another woman called and said how she felt fed up because her siblings were out shopping in town with their children and she was at home with her children as her husband was out working. Again!
How old are you? How old are you?
….the conversation went back and forward. Then one of the women eventually said it…
…the other one stood with her mouth open, agast….
The comparison game……..a la laaaaa, are you feeling better or worst than others?
Well one thing we know is that Self Care is not about ignoring feelings of regret, rejection or disappointment. Say for example, someone you sent a text back does not text back because of all the reasons that’s involved in their life…..you get the picture. And you don’t have to give the politically correct answer. Sit with it…. Well, what if you did not need that text returned to allow yourself to love up on yourself?
Let’s breathe that….maybe re-create ourselves….mmmmmmm……take your time now. No shaming of yourself just because you feel vulnerable. In fact, is this the time to give yourself your own permission to love up on yourself?
It’s o.k. Part of your inner power comes from loving up others, now your inner power in this season of re-dressing the balance, means giving ourselves a ‘crown of self compassion’. Make a decision to love up on yourself first. If you feel like there is some hostility around you if you begin to love up on yourself. Make your decision to love up on yourself. Either way you are safe.
Then after that inner journey, if you want, reach out after that …
So what do you feel success is? The house, the car, the family, the job, the business, health and so on.
Well it has many dimensions. What happens if you have none of that? So how about reinterpreting things, rather than it being negative, you could see the gift of the situation. Notice the gift of what has happened to you and that appreciation expanding. This itself brings you feelings off success. If you choose to find genuine value in what happened , then that shifts the energy. A hugely important step.
….success is right now.
Allow yourself to sit with images, sense of taste, views that create a sense of security, a sense of belonging, a sense of beauty.
……by the way she was in her home sorting out her clutter and clearing her room, and preparing her children to complete their homework.
We look for success because we think it will bring us happiness… yet so many teachers show us that success is a way of life…it’s in your judgement…your feelings…Yes, yes, yes, we love it when things work out, our dates work out, our children behave, we have more money than bills in our account. We love all that, but we also are teaching ourselves to love up on ourselves even if it does not happen.
…the difference between a flower and weed is in the judgement.
Sandra Anne Taylor
This 21-Day Self Care Bootcamp focuses on the source of the love, coming from within us, whatever. The 21-Day Bootcamp is about practising permission giving to ourselves. To love up on ourselves. Whatever…. To sing to ourselves, to laugh with ourselves. Whatever. To honour ourselves….just because. Our intention towards ourselves matters.
“If, of thy mortal goods, thou art bereft,
And from thy slender store two loaves
alone to thee are left,
Sell one & from the dole,
Buy Hyacinths to feed the soul”
– Muslihuddin Sadi,
13th Century Persian Poet
“If I had but two loaves of bread
I would sell one of them
& buy White Hyacinths to feed my soul.”
– Elbert Hubbard
The London Flower Lover
p.s. The birthing of the 21-day Self-Care Programme was jointly inspired by conversations with Core Success, Mentoring and Training for Women: Manchester