Beloved flower Lover,
She called in, her voice was tight, she was coming apart in tears.
“I have had enough, he forgot my birthday, he could not be bothered to take me home, he watches TV all day, he is always drinking, his place is a mess, he keeps accusing me of things I have not done, this is not good enough, it’s over, it’s over, it’s over….”
….her story was what her story was…..at that time…..was she feeding these feelings? was she fueling a story that she was a victim? was she dismissing the love connection that was natural to herself and instead depending on expression of love through him alone? was she breaking up in a way that she thought that she might get support from us to collude with? or feed into hating her partner. Soul mate to soul hate? was she free to create love again? was she a failure in her own eyes? what was the purpose of that relationship? was she really about love? we knew there was always two sides to a story so we kept quiet.
We dignified them both. Neither of them were losers in our eyes.
We did not join in as she talked about breaking apart as well as feeling the waves of agony and pain. We pondered deeply. Breaking up and starting relationships have a correlation. They have such a link.
Time and time again as florists we see the aftermath of the decision that a person has made within themselves about breaking up a relationships. We noticed that the decisions you make as you break up affects how you feel about yourself as you enter the next relationship. So we just listened. No blame or shame for either of the people in this passionate relationship. No blame or shame.
All we did know was that we were not going to rush this conversation and instead invite her through our own stillness to reflect on her ideas about breaking up. Even considering what our society projects onto relationship breakups.
She was about to call again to confirm a time to collect her flowers. So we decided to prepare ourselves with beautiful reflections so we were in the very best place possible to hold that space for love. To look at how love, intimacy and beauty are linked and actually welcome us to go deeper into that place of geninue love.
Now we contemplated what we learnt, we were ready to share love. Knowing that we could heal our own feelings about breakups could heal her at the most tender time of her life.
We better go and get that bouquet ready now before she comes in. Yes, it’s time to learn how to apply what we have learnt.
The London Flower Lover