Giving her those flowers yet again may not be the best way to regain back that love…learning to create love instead maybe your real answer- what do you think?

Beloved Flower lover,

fire desire-into-me-i-c

We love flowers here, yet we know that sometimes you have to approach love with a certain awareness…and that will take care of how you use flowers in your relationships….She began…

Have you ever wondered if you’re with the wrong person?

she asked

We said nothing, knowing that it’s common to think “Maybe I made a bad choice… Maybe I’m with the wrong person…” especially when your relationship feels tense.

So how do you know if you’re with the right person or not?

she asked

Again we remained silent, to answer this question, we needed to zoom out and look at  relationships from a bird’s eye view and see what is really happening.

From what we have come to learn, we are all instruments of love peace and joy, yet sometimes we forget.  We have also learnt that all relationships go through natural stages. sometimes its easy to think of them like stages:

  1. Romance
  2. Power Struggle and
  3. Mature Love

We were having all of this conversation in our heads privately as we could see her quieten down and become open to the answers.

flow

So still in our inner minds we explored what we know that…

In the Romance Stage, we do the falling in love thing.  The attraction is strong and love just flows naturally between you. You laugh, flirt, play and share effortlessly with each other.

Then, a few months or years in, your Power Struggle stage begins.

Once playful conversations turn into arguments and tension.

The characterisitcs that once fascinated you about your partner begin to annoy you and even simple conversations could seem like hard work.

The idea of divine love may sound like a joke!

Some couples make it though the Power Struggle stage. Some stay stuck in it or break up.

Those who see the Power Struggle stage as a gift, designed to teach you, graduate into the next stage – Mature Love.

The Mature Love stage is where you stand side by side as two on the same team moving towards a common vision that unites you.

This is where TRUE LOVE begins – the kind of mature love that most of us envision for ourselves.

That’s what we know.

Here’s the thing… you can’t experience Mature Love until you learn the lesson, and received the gift that each previous stage has to teach you.

the london flower lover

We know some other things too like some of the gifts of the Power Struggle stage has to teach:

  • Discovering how to accept your partner exactly as they are without needing to change them
  • learning to accept yourself without needing to change yourself
  • Learning how to meet each other’s emotional needs
  • learning to meet your own emotional needs
  • Learning how to resolve conflict in a way that brings you closer together

thelondonflowerlover pink rose

By keeping this blog and providing flowers for so many people have led us to learn that as you learn them well, you receive a great blessing: You can “make” Love… to have it on demand whenever you choose.

We figured out that when you’re falling in love, you don’t need to “work” at generating love – it just happens and you feel it automatically.

And maybe it’s not because you’ve met Mr. or Mrs. Right…

…it’s because your brain is injecting lots and lots of Oxytocin( the love bonding hormone) into your bloodstream effectively sedating your rational mind.

Once your brain stops drugging you with this powerful hormone, the illusion of being “in love” wears off and you wake up to the reality of your partner and the flaws you overlooked in the Romance Stage.

NOW is the time you need to learn to consciously CREATE the “in love” feelings if you want a mature, loving relationship (or marriage). To outgrow the need to just be given love from the outside. To become the love you seek and to apply some fundamental laws of life, like peace, and joy amongst others. Couple who stay together learn to create love within themselves and to share it willingly. Couples who divorce or break up almost NEVER learn to “make” love or recreate the love they want from the inside out and ‘move on’ to the next person or not.

The thing we have come to learn creating this blog and pondering the question that this lady poised is that if you’re falling out of love and still wondering if you’re with the right person, you’re asking yourself the wrong question…

TheLondonFlowerLover purple give flowers

Being happy and “in love” is NOT about choosing the right person…

It’s about learning to be willing, to decide to LOVE the person you’ve already chosen.

Read that last line again… it’s nothing else we have found when we talk and listen to so many on this topic…

So our answer to the lady who came in could go something like this….

There is no right or wrong person for you, only the person you’re with – the person you chose.

Love is a verb – it’s something you DO.

On the other hand, romantic love is like a drug that gets you temporarily high and then leaves you addicted and desperately craving more.

If you want to feel “in love” with your husband, wife or partner again, you need to learn to LOVE as a verb. Love yourself and others. Life is too precious to waste stuck in relationship conflict. If you’re ready for Mature Love, we encourage you to get to that place which has no opposites and is just love.

The key to this is to know you are love and loved…the solution for us to realise that we are the very answer for the love we seek. So to seek no more..

We are grateful for having this wonderful opportunity to share what we have learnt from so many, just by our simple work with flowers.

 

Thank you, thank you, thank you

The Team

The London Flower Lover.

flow

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About Thelondonflowerlover

Welcome to The London Flower Lover. We are florists who create floral collections to tell your real life story. With colour and texture, we take floristry into an entirely new direction based on the challenges and joys of your life. Offering what we call 'heart based floristry' we use style, fashion, and life situations and merge them with heart based lifestyle support. This inspiring blend creates so much more for those who love flowers. Using flowers in the traditional way of course, but always using flowers to open up a floralicious conversation about relationships of all kinds. We are a sort of work in progress of compassionately confirming how we are already on the inside, the love we want to see out in the world. That is mission of The London Flower Lover. So saying yes to recognising that is at the heart of this blog and using flowers to honour that inner world is how we use the beauty of giving and receiving flowers. This blog is your blog. It's as much about cultivating your heart, as it is about enjoying the physical beauty of flowers. It offers story, poems and video to reflect the life you actually live whilst showing beautifully inspiring collections of flower designs. Hand-tied bouquets, arrangements and more. All this with sought after tips from well established experts on how to keep a happy heart. This is what makes The London Flower Lover unique and magical. Yes, and that's how we make the difference that we do. When life looks, feels, or sounds challenging, we offer a sanctuary that you may dip into. A well of refreshment and strength that you may draw from. Sharing what others have found to be successful ways of being happy in the face of challenges, whilst letting flowers do the talking when we have no other way to interpret what is going on. Use flowers to help you re-discover, reveal and remember how you can still be despite challenges. Use flowers to celebrate and to embody the possibility of your heart felt desire, fulfilled. Use flowers in your life, to remind you of the beauty of your life. Use The London Flower Lover today. We invite you to stay curious in this floral universe as you explore the love in the heart. This is a floralicious world.
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