Beloved Flower lover,
|We love flowers here, yet we know that sometimes you have to approach love with a certain awareness…and that will take care of how you use flowers in your relationships….She began…
Have you ever wondered if you’re with the wrong person?
We said nothing, knowing that it’s common to think “Maybe I made a bad choice… Maybe I’m with the wrong person…” especially when your relationship feels tense.
So how do you know if you’re with the right person or not?
Again we remained silent, to answer this question, we needed to zoom out and look at relationships from a bird’s eye view and see what is really happening.
From what we have come to learn, we are all instruments of love peace and joy, yet sometimes we forget. We have also learnt that all relationships go through natural stages. sometimes its easy to think of them like stages:
We were having all of this conversation in our heads privately as we could see her quieten down and become open to the answers.
So still in our inner minds we explored what we know that…
In the Romance Stage, we do the falling in love thing. The attraction is strong and love just flows naturally between you. You laugh, flirt, play and share effortlessly with each other.
Then, a few months or years in, your Power Struggle stage begins.
Once playful conversations turn into arguments and tension.
The characterisitcs that once fascinated you about your partner begin to annoy you and even simple conversations could seem like hard work.
The idea of divine love may sound like a joke!
Some couples make it though the Power Struggle stage. Some stay stuck in it or break up.
Those who see the Power Struggle stage as a gift, designed to teach you, graduate into the next stage – Mature Love.
The Mature Love stage is where you stand side by side as two on the same team moving towards a common vision that unites you.
This is where TRUE LOVE begins – the kind of mature love that most of us envision for ourselves.
That’s what we know.
Here’s the thing… you can’t experience Mature Love until you learn the lesson, and received the gift that each previous stage has to teach you.
We know some other things too like some of the gifts of the Power Struggle stage has to teach:
By keeping this blog and providing flowers for so many people have led us to learn that as you learn them well, you receive a great blessing: You can “make” Love… to have it on demand whenever you choose.
We figured out that when you’re falling in love, you don’t need to “work” at generating love – it just happens and you feel it automatically.
And maybe it’s not because you’ve met Mr. or Mrs. Right…
…it’s because your brain is injecting lots and lots of Oxytocin( the love bonding hormone) into your bloodstream effectively sedating your rational mind.
Once your brain stops drugging you with this powerful hormone, the illusion of being “in love” wears off and you wake up to the reality of your partner and the flaws you overlooked in the Romance Stage.
NOW is the time you need to learn to consciously CREATE the “in love” feelings if you want a mature, loving relationship (or marriage). To outgrow the need to just be given love from the outside. To become the love you seek and to apply some fundamental laws of life, like peace, and joy amongst others. Couple who stay together learn to create love within themselves and to share it willingly. Couples who divorce or break up almost NEVER learn to “make” love or recreate the love they want from the inside out and ‘move on’ to the next person or not.
The thing we have come to learn creating this blog and pondering the question that this lady poised is that if you’re falling out of love and still wondering if you’re with the right person, you’re asking yourself the wrong question…
Being happy and “in love” is NOT about choosing the right person…
It’s about learning to be willing, to decide to LOVE the person you’ve already chosen.
Read that last line again… it’s nothing else we have found when we talk and listen to so many on this topic…
So our answer to the lady who came in could go something like this….
There is no right or wrong person for you, only the person you’re with – the person you chose.
Love is a verb – it’s something you DO.
On the other hand, romantic love is like a drug that gets you temporarily high and then leaves you addicted and desperately craving more.
If you want to feel “in love” with your husband, wife or partner again, you need to learn to LOVE as a verb. Love yourself and others. Life is too precious to waste stuck in relationship conflict. If you’re ready for Mature Love, we encourage you to get to that place which has no opposites and is just love.
The key to this is to know you are love and loved…the solution for us to realise that we are the very answer for the love we seek. So to seek no more..
We are grateful for having this wonderful opportunity to share what we have learnt from so many, just by our simple work with flowers.
Thank you, thank you, thank you
The London Flower Lover.