Beloved flower lover,
“The credit goes to her”, we overheard a doctor talking about his successful patient. He was grinning boldly. We sat still, curious and strained our ear and heard the picture which was becoming clear.
She, his patient, had been smoking since she was 18 and was now 42 but that was not the issue. She went to him because she did not want her 18-year-old son to cover up his own talent with smoking marijuana, smelly, green, or skunk. She wanted him to avoid escaping into the world of addictive smoking and wasting away his life or die at night in his sleep. She was horrified by the idea of what could happen to her only son. That his dreams could die with him as a socially accepted zombie. Her picture of his future terrified her.
She had heard about the brain centered intervention and early prevention programme offered by a Dr.Rajiv Juneja, M.D. in the USA and wanted to know what help she could get in her area.( http://thedrraj.com/opiate-awareness-campaign/ ) She had learnt that if you can keep someone off drugs until they are 21 then they are unlikely to become addicted to smoking for the mind altering feel good factor. She learnt that Dr Raj was an expert in encouraging the young brain to develop and mature naturally. She was inspired for change.
Mum was a good looking Londoner who felt she was losing a hold of her last big dream. Her son’s academic success.Yet there was more to the story. She was silently crying out, especially as she saw herself buy her £20.00 joint each night through the local networks rather than buy vegetables or buy gas or electric. She saw her own life fading. Her not appreciating herself. She did not want that for him. Not her precious son.
She began to explore.
She wanted a support group, a structure to talk about the ‘Joint question’ as they referred to it, with caring professional, holistic, practitioners.
She went to her good friend who directed her to a few Wellbeing books. Some about nutrition for the brain to support her change, some about why aiming at keeping off drugs for ninety days was a necessary option, and why extraordinary self-care using acupunturist or energy work like EFT was essential. Her friend also recommended that she complement any process for honoring her well-being with regular visits to her doctor.
So off she went to her NHS doctor not expecting to experience anything life changing really and after getting into his office and explaining her situation she sat with her mouth open.
Sitting in front of this man, this professional, she felt he had tapped into a secret love experience that she had always wanted with a man. Especially her previous lover who had left due to his drug habit. The need to be noticed, appreciated, consciously loved. Yet she glazed her eyes over and held them downward. She found herself in front of this professional feeling quite naked and being very aware of boundaries, she avoided the taboo in her mind and pushed her feelings down.
Yet he kept talking and she felt surprised as he advised her that she could not save him because he had his own life choices. That he could only guide her to get in touch with her own highest potential and bring that out. That a pill was not the alternative. He was not going to trade medically prescribed drugs for depression for her self medicated drug. Her eyes blinked, blinked and blinked. He went straight to her underlying fears rather than her excuse with so much compassion that he could have been wearing angel wings under his shirt.
She glowed… she felt hot….warm…without knowing why. He got her attention.
Her family doctor said it straight…”you are his mother and only your behavior will act as that light in his life. He went onto counsel her by saying that her own drug misuse which had come about through peer pressure, which later turned into self medication for her own depression would need to be addressed first.(http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Depression/Pages/Introduction.aspx)
She felt a huge tear well up. How did he know I was depressed? she heard herself say to herself…
She was lost, angry, irritated, out of sorts, yet smiling. She tried to shy away from his bright light by creating images of shame and attempting to bring up victim stories about why she had to take the drugs as she thought about her continued use of mood altering substances, yet he was onto her.
“We are not into beating up our clients, or helping them to beat themselves up either ” he went onto talk about the biological, psychological, sociological and spiritual reasons for the marijuana addiction.
“Look your environment never taught you as a woman to bring out your talents that only you can bring to us all. And so you became pre-disposed to anything that offers a sense of pleasure.You were not encouraged to express your God-given purpose, and so were vulnerable. As life pushes your buttons you depended on the negative self-analysis and the smoke to fulfill that sense of pleasure, yet it’s never too late to express your inner talents. Just choose and let’s take it slow. Where you are is right and proper right now. What’s not true is that you cannot express your talent. You can. You can make the space and time to choose to foster a relationship with yourself and avoid belittling yourself. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of what others might think,it can all change. Yes it can be cleaned up with time. Getting out of our comfort zones today is our purpose today” He breathed really slowly.
“Read Steve Jobs sisters eulogy. He handed her a web site address. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/30/opinion/mona-simpsons-eulogy-for-steve-jobs.html?pagewanted=3&_r=0 . You are entitled to breathe into your talents and the disapproval of others has no meaning”
She had never been taught about how the brain was changed by the pleasure rewards in the feel good substances in the cigarette rolled using cannabis let alone the phantom of fear and death run her life.
Truly the idea of pleasure purely created by your own minds eye seemed foreign. She had never felt that she knew how to achieve levels of pleasure that normally you do not feel, or are not trained to practice it without opiates. http://thedrraj.com/opiate-awareness-campaign/. Yet she was so sickened by the image of the addictive effect, which often led her to lie on her sofa all day, rent movies and do nothing that she was about to cuss herself out. Yet her doctor breathed for her in a way that felt like eternity as he smiled and forbade her from beating herself up.”No”, he said. “No, no,no.” “Let’s get into a process of self-care and explore what are you avoiding by smoking each night. Let’s be creative about it, let’s have fun finding out what are you escaping from, what you are putting on hold and feed the many passions you love deep in your heart.”
“It’s spring time, it’s renaissance time, it’s your time. Let it be perhaps for the next six weeks”
“Today I invite you to use flowers to renew your commitment to the pleasure of yourself. I invite you to connect to the abundant spirit by asking yourself what flowers you enjoy the most, the best?
“It matters only you know what is precious to you about you and for you”…
She saw a copy of Cynthia Occelli’s, ‘Resurrecting Venus’, sitting on his desk. He smiled and said “embrace your feminine power, I invite you to recommit to clear the past and make space”. We thought of all the male readers of our own blog who might say the very same thing to their wives, girlfriends, sisters, aunts, mothers, nieces, daughters. “This is what will heal you, not me, you and your gorgeous feminine qualities of co operation, creativity and fertility and so much more”. “I invite you to clear space in your home, to get rid of clutter and spend time remembering what you loved in your youth before you began smoking”.
He beamed… she glistened back…she was into this heart desire process.
Some day had come. It was today.
“I really invite you to look for five beautiful flowers that give you the most pleasure and bring a colour picture of each of them into the office next week . And I want you to get yellow and pink paper on each day for the next 21 days write a love letter to yourself like it was from the most perfect lover ever and then await the next instruction”.
She felt a tingle in her body and a glint in her eye…she commited to the action. Her feminine resurrection had begun. Her waiting around had stopped!
We too invite you to choose flowers which are true to your greatest joy. You are entitled to express that!
Thank you for visiting and sharing on this blog. Your comments matter a lot to us.
The London Flower Lover