Beloved Flower Lover,
We had just come back in from exploring some urban flowers in South London. Lavender, rosehips, mini foxglove and campions. Then she came in looking red hot, yes red hot. Wearing a figure hugging red hour glass dress, showing off her décolletage beautifully.
She had just come from the hairdressers and was buying some flowers for herself. We wondered where she was going. On a date? Oh yes for sure. But with who? We knew she was one part of an exclusive couple, who were experiencing a little romantic distance recently. So why the new hair and figure hugging red dress?
She asked us for help, was tossing her hair and was very flirty. Her phone rang three times. She was super giggly and said, “… he was really nice, I am seeing him again, it worked”
Our eyes where huge. What worked ? we asked on the inside. Never daring to utter the question. And then without us even asking she continued on the phone…
”I got to vent in that journal you gave to me. I released all my pent up emotions, my anger, my fear. I imagined what I wanted that he apologised for being contemptuous and withholding affection and as I did that, I found that I reacted with realising he was breaking my heart open wide. In my journal, I wrote he said, ‘yes, I am sorry for hurting you. You are precious to me and it matters to me how you feel’. It suddenly felt right. I realised I had been hypnotising myself into the feeling of fear. That I was equally uncomfortable with him accepting me, all of me and making upset my normal reaction. That I was more familiar with rejection. So in my journal story I wrote that we both had an epiphany. I realised the worst had already happened and had passed and we both were still standing. That I, he, were still lovable. I smiled. I choose to be the change I wanted to feel in our relationship.”
Her conversation continued.
“I closed my journal. Dressed and decided to surround myself with loving words and beauty. In fact I am in the flower shop right now. I allowed myself to say nice loving things to myself in my journal because I deserve to receive love and beauty from myself. I realised I do love him and wanted us to be together. And guess what. He called me just before you did and said he was dedicated to winning me back because he loves me!
We went into the back and shed a tear of joy and exhaled… this was a couple who moved from casual to committed, to becoming comfortable with the feeling of love and to express it rather than reject its feeling. Being honest about how they presented themselves to each other. Realising that they were more than the recent fights they had had. How far they were prepared to go was based on their goal of experiencing lasting love.
Sometimes true lovers have arguments and beauty, and ‘making beautiful’ is required. Hence flowers and their presence highly welcomed.
Flowers are welcomed companions at these times. Recognising our own beauty through self-care and the beauty is ideal for changing up the energy.
Perhaps getting our teeth into an issue, absorbing and digesting it and bringing out the essence is what’s needed. This ‘uniting’ with the teeth biting through obstacles and come together is like how some people get through obstructions to come together with the truth, and love for each other.
As florists we are often reminded that, “things cannot come together and reach completion casually, and so making beautiful follows.”
As florists we often know that the process of ‘biting through’, obstacles needs the care and attention of ‘making beautiful’ to complete it. So flowers are offered.
We see it all the time when couples who love and adore each other and experience a temporary conflict situation in their courtship and marriage, can switch back to harmony.
Flowers can become another way to express self. Flowers are our intervention, just by virtue of the intention of the giver. Flowers give us an opportunity to practice our intentions of love on a daily basis.
In fact, we are reminded of the poetic insight of dedication, devotion, forgiveness and love. The suitor makes his feet beautiful, oils his hair, drives his carriage with reins glistening and beautiful horses to greet the bride brings gifts of silk. And none of this is merely ornamental: it’s performative. It’s the ceremony of marriage that makes people married in fact.
Flowers provide an invitation to think on what kind of reality you’re creating through appearances. Flowers can help us talk about self-image and about our communication in general.
Beauty does what beauty does best when it has a direction to go. For example a young man becomes a suitor for his bride; people become teachers for the sake of their pupils, or actors because there’s an audience. Objects, too – like flowers – can evolve a beauty of form to express their purpose.
This beauty is only a small part of the big picture. Partly because the direction you put on it (‘I’m a husband’ or ‘I’m a wife’ or ‘I’m a parent’ or whatever) simply exists to create a relationship; it doesn’t yield the harvest by itself. You create those feelings from the inside first. From your intention first from a place of peace and love first.
When you ‘make the situation beautiful’ with flowers in this sense, you’re trying out just one expression of its essence. It’s a natural way for to explore and play.
So ‘making beautiful’ any hurt situation with flowers could be an on-going exploration and game, reshaping images or trying on our new more loving selves. Perhaps that explains how it comes to have a sense of release, at its core: a seed of freedom, walking your chosen path released from the bonds of obligation to old ways of being upset. Now you have a new normal!
To paraphrase Kahlil Gibran just a little:
‘Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in mirrors. But you are eternity and you are the mirrors.’
The London Flower Lover