Beloved Flower Lover,
Friday, a woman came in distressed about all the sex she was having with a man who did not want to marry her. We said little but just showed her an article and she bought her usual arrangement and left……what did we share…..well an article from the Love Doctor.This is a note from her that we copied from her email.
“Dear Dr. Diana,
I keep picking these guys who just don’t want to commit. I don’t know what it is. I just broke up with the third one who was like that. We dated for a year and he was so squeamish about introducing me to his family, including me in holidays, etc. When we first met he said he was open to marriage and children and he seemed to be smitten by me. Things were amazing. But then he just got more and more distant. For no apparent reason! How can I stop myself from making this same mistake again???” ~Fed-up in Portland
I often get emails like this from women who are disappointed in love time and time again. Usually they are choosing the wrong partners. Absolutely the wrong guys. And not even realizing it!!
Rutgers University and The National Marriage Project conducted a national study that showed that married men were more likely than single men to have grown up with both biological parents. Almost half of the married guys reported going to religious services several times a month. Less than one quarter of the unmarried men did.
When these researchers sorted out the “Marrying Kind” of single men they found a similar difference. Those that came from traditional backgrounds in intact families and those who attended religious services regularly each month were more likely to agree with the following statement: “You’d be ready to marry tomorrow if the right person came along.” Also, a Gallup poll showed that the vast majority of these men are seeking a “soul-mate,” who will fulfill their emotional, sexual and spiritual desires and will also share breadwinning responsibilities.
The study went on to cite significant differences between the ‘marrying kind’ and the non-marrying kind. Marriage avoiders were more likely to:
- distrust women to tell the truth about prior relationships
- worry more about the risks of divorce
- say they did not want children
- believed that singles have better sex lives than marrieds
- agree to the statement that “there are so many bad marriages today it makes one question the value of marriage.”
- say that at this stage of life they just wanted to have fun
- express the concern that, “If you marry, your biggest concern would be losing your personal freedom.”
Ladies, there are some important clues here.
Obviously, there are wonderful, available guys who don’t fit the complete profile of the ‘marrying kind.’ Nevertheless, the research is convincing that good parental role models and a spiritual or religious background help in molding guys who are more serious about commitment. If marriage is your goal, you may want to watch early on for info and clues about a guy’s upbringing; eagerness for marriage; spiritual or religious activities; general distrust of women; and his fears about losing personal freedom. If marriage or a permanent commitment is your goal, don’t waste your time on the ‘non-marrying kind’; they will only break your hearts.
Much more on this is available in the book. Get it here: Love in 90 Days.
Love is very tricky and you have to keep your eyes open about who you are dealing with and have guidance to get the treasure. I just launched a personalized one-on-one dating coach Love Mentoring service. Now for the very first time you can work with a handpicked Love Mentor who has used the Love in 90 Days principles to get happily married. Each mentor is a seasoned transformational coach who is directly supervised by me. This is an incredibly powerful way to make your love dreams come true! And for a limited time you can have a free 40 minute session by phone or Skype. But hurry, the time slots are filling up fast. Contact me at http://www.lovein90days.com/contact/ to arrange your free Love Mentoring session.
Here’s a letter from Erin, who’s having terrific success meeting guys with the mentoring program:
“Hi Diana – I have been in the mentoring program for a month now and I am a new woman. I’m on the program of three and can’t count how many guys are interested. I’m so happy I’ve given myself this gift. Men think I am confident, beautiful, smart, etc. because of the love intention that I am projecting. The Diamond Self exercise has just brought out my charisma in social situations like you wouldn’t believe. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge with the world!!” ~ Erin, Chicago
To learn more about my one-on-one mentoring program go to: http://www.lovein90days.com/products/
what could be better than this? we are so open to your suggestions
The London Flower Lover