How did kate Middleton finally get her man?

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The London Flower Lover

Beloved Flower Lover,

There is a mega discussion going on in our studio and this is the gist of it. Kate Middleton said NO to taking crumbs from her man, then things totally changed.

 

Well, what ever you think of this idea, we wanted to let you know that we get our inspiration from Dr Diana Kirschner.

 

There is so much going on this week to do with romance and marriage, so many things and it highlights all sorts of patterns of love and romance. We love our favourite Love Doctor, Dr Diana and have a snippet of her advice to share with you….

…We are not married but have lived together for about 5 years.  After the first year, we started having a lot of arguments mainly about clutter (I tend to collect things).  A few times I promised to get rid of some clothes and things (I really should) but never did. The reason for that is that I always felt he cared more about the house than me.  It wounded me.  I realize now that was wrong.  Since the first fights also there was zero happening in the bedroom.  When I approached him a few times, he said he didn’t want to do it.  I just kind of turned off that whole aspect.  A month ago he suddenly said he wanted me to move out.  We had some more arguments. During one of our fights I asked him if there was another woman and he said yes.  I even told him that though it was wrong I would be willing to forgive that.  I am just beside myself and don’t know what to do.”  ~Jean, Philadelphia

Well she could be from anywhere, London, New York, Kingston Jamaica; anywhere what has our master teacher Diana has to say about this. Why we love Dr Kirschner is because she gets to the point in such a loving supportive way. She is really helpful, ok, more words from Dr Diana

Jean is stuck in what I call the “Crumbs” Deadly Dating Pattern.  In this pattern you are involved with a man who does not provide for your needs.  In Jean’s case, her live-in boyfriend was not being intimate with her, not being sexual and ultimately turning to another woman.  Yet, she stayed in an ultra-accepting and giving mode. Hoping that at some point her love and caring would turn him around.  Instead he moved FARTHER away from her and became more and more EMOTIONALLY DISTANT.  The Crumbs pattern is very common and pretty much guaranteed to do the opposite of what you hope for–instead of drawing your man in, it pushes him away!

In this pattern you are involved with a man (maybe married or a hot irresistible player) who sees you occasionally and only when it works in his schedule.  If you play close attention you may see that he is a flaming narcissist, who does not seem to know that anyone outside of himself really exists.  He may go through the motions, but fundamentally is not really interested in anything your life.

For the most part he treats you well when he is with you. If he’s wealthy, he may buy Manolos or take you to five-star dinners.  He may take you to the Promised Land in bed. But he cuts you off if his wife or his “old flame” enters the scene. (Mr. Big played this role in Sex and the City.) And he’s never available when you need or want him.  This pattern causes you a great deal of sadness and pain, yet you think that overall it’s a good deal. You spend a lot of time thinking and fantasizing about him: how he’s going to leave his wife or stop being a player, or cut back on his work schedule and be with you in a rose-covered cottage or on the beach in Maui.  Of course he does make noises or promises in that direction.  In your heart of hearts you secretly know that day will never come, but you’re afraid to act on that knowledge. Although you’d never admit it, even to your best friend, you believe that this second-class status is the very best you’ll ever be able to get and you’re damn lucky to have it.

The Crumbs Fix:  Give up the crumbs and take a seat at the banquet table.  First, break up with the men that are only giving you crumbs.  Then make a rule:  I only date men who are (a) available and (b) crazy about me (for real). Try this on for size, even if it means spending time with men who “aren’t good enough” but who treat you like royalty.  By the way, if you do this, the crumb-giver may come around!  If he starts courting you, give him a chance. But don’t jump right back in.  Slowly let him prove to you that he is changing. Encourage him to go into therapy or work on himself to see if he can be more giving and the two of you can come together in a way that is fulfilling for both of you.

You need to learn about what it really means to be loved.  A master Love Mentor who is very generous can help you with this issue.  Make an affirmation to the effect of, “I deserve respect, care and love.”  Post it where you can read it every day.  Treat yourself with TLC.  Practice asking for what you want, no matter how expensive or “inappropriate” or “bothersome” it is.  Also, practice receiving and saying “Yes,” when those things come to you.  Because they will.  Especially if you work with a loving mentor.

Kathie, a self-described Crumbs type, is one of the new mentees in my Love coaching program.  Here’s Kathie’s email after she had the courage to break up with her boyfriend:

“He couldn’t even kiss me the way I wanted to be kissed and even used to put less food on my plate whenever he cooked, which was rarely.  And I found out he is taking another girlfriend to his birthday bash, planned that while he was still seeing me!  What I realize is that I don’t speak up enough about what I want or how I want things to go, so I shouldn’t be surprised when I don’t get them.  My pattern is to not say anything and stuff myself with binge eating.  I think the eating is out of that hunger, that need that never gets fulfilled.  Certainly not with the a’holes I choose.  I feel so relieved to have given myself a Love Mentor to help me get rid of someone who took me for granted. I now honestly know that I deserve a great love relationship!”

Just like Kathie, you too can work with a handpicked Love Mentor who has used the Love in 90 Days principles to get happily married.  Each mentor is a gifted coach who can help you BREAK FREE of relationships that are not fulfilling and find the love of your dreams.  And for a limited time you can have a free 45 minute session by phone or Skype.  Contact Dr Diana at http://www.lovein90days.com/contact/ to arrange your free Love Mentoring session.

Wishing you love

The Team

The London Flower Lover

About Thelondonflowerlover

Most busy people struggle with knowing how to really give themselves the time they deserve for genuine self caring. They can get so lost in their daily responsibilities that they lose themselves. They can get sick, tired, or just lose their way. We provide self caring and self loving packages that make use of the natural relaxing abilities of tools like flowers, and so much more, all designed to give a reliable, regular, rebalancing booster, to recharge their inner batteries so that they can enjoy life again. So welcome to this Floralicious universe, where you are the hero. Yes, that's right. We know that you have one clear desire. To be happy. We also know that something is stopping you from getting it. That is where we step in.a Things get done because you allow them to. We are your guide florists who provide you with answers for that stress. We do this using baby steps, providing you with relaxing and beautiful flowers to help you connect with your wellness. In our baby step plans we combine flowers, with a holistic appreciation of what it takes for you to be free of your challenge. In our opinion you are a hero, not a helpless victim. It is our belief that no one needs to struggle with stress if they are guided properly. We gently guide those who are stressed at work, at home or anywhere in between. We guide those who have declared that its time to stop dabbling with what they desire. And using those baby steps, we carefully guide those who are ready to experience a transformation. We would never deny the fact that flowers for your birthday, holidays and special occasions are amazing to send and receive. Those florist that specifically specialise in that line of floristry are fantastic. Yet what we are doing here points you in another direction. It's deeper. It points your attention inwards. To self. To boost yourself up on a REGULAR basis. That's a part of how we guide you through to become free of your stress. We invite you to see how life is breathing you and how you are part of life's nature. So what you uncover is really you discovering your own awesomeness. You learn how that is natural and not an exception. From that point of view , we are inviting you to let go of dabbling around . This process that aligns you with the truth of your nature,puts asleep those doubts that interfere with your desires.Putting asleep the elephant in the room and inviting you to discover your own process of moving from feeling stressed to calm, from feeling uncertainty to being confident, from feeling lonely to being in gratitude for the connections with others. We recognise what you want. We know. We have been there ourselves. We know how it feels and that all you need is a guide, to give you a plan to help you win the day. So we invite you to take the next baby step. If we don't call you to take action, then we are not helping you and life will only stay the same. It will reflect an unexplored set of feelings about your self that could harm your future. Lets put those to sleep and be focused on what is awake within you. We invite you to go forward and take the first tinniest baby step now. THE FLORALICIOUS PLAN Step 1 Sign up to The London Flower Lover blog. Open up your Floralicious conversation about relaxation, perception and flowers of all kinds. Step 2 Sign up for the empowerment plan that will work for you. At this stage are really ready to commit to your self caring. So choose your plan carefully. Each plan makes you available to the mechanics of your personal wholeness because you allow yourself to. No one is forcing you. Each plan gives you a reliable schedule of activity to bring your attention back to yourself. These plans use a mixture of techniques to awaken you . Repeatedly offered through story, gratitude journaling and more as you reflect the life you desire to breathe life into. By using flowers, you experience the boost of beautifully inspiring collections of flower designs. All you need to do is to align with that feeling. This is what makes this package a personal attunement to your natural aliveness and abundance! Step 3 You are now ready to use very specific flowers and self gifting to help you express yourself. You are ready to give yourself a licence to express yourself like never before. No longer intimidated by stress, you use flowers and self gifting to express the life that is breathing you. Your awesomeness is re-discovered, revealed and remembered. We invite you into your own Floralicious universe as you unwind, relax and enjoy happiness beyond stress.
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