Beloved Flower Lover,
We’ve found when people are stuck, their natural tendency is to push harder within the system they are using. That seldom works.
When we talk to people about how they actually change, we look for leverage, the point where it will be different and it is almost never obvious to the person seeking help.
So gentlemen, if you are pushing for her, check this out.
Think of this, a “cold shower loop” and just cool down first, keeping them on ice:
Feels lousy about failures with women…is entangled up with…natural healthy desire for love, sex, fun, companionship, touch…leads to running bad feelings and failure memories in mind…leads to bring entangled, painful emotion, limiting sense of possibility along with legit desires, into interactions with women…leads to freezing or little or limited actions/interactions with unsatisfying result…Feels lousy about failures with women.
And on and on the arrows go…
So our first thought is, if you’re caught in this loop, stop thinking of it as an inferiority “complex”.
Instead, look at the PROCESS, a PATTERN you continue to run. If I took that process/pattern and dropped it into the head, body and energetic field of anyone, they’d be hurt badly within a few months, even if they previously would be doing really well.
Most likely there are physiological things going on; when you don’t feel good about your life or significant portions of it, chances are you don’t take proper care of your diet, exercise, sleep etc and then your body feels even worse. A body with poor or limited energy etc is likely to lead to a mind that searches for reasons why you feel bad, when it fact, you may feel bad because your body is tired, undernourished, etc!
So into that loop I would probably put because one feels bad about this area of life, one doesn’t take proper care of physical health which predisposes mind to put negative interpretations on events to match the bad feelings in body
So, stop looking at yourself as having a “complex” and instead look at the process.
This is our first step, because it shows you how to start finding leverage to feel better physically and emotionally OUTSIDE of your interactions with women.
We are not saying to shift your focus permanently off getting good skills with women. We are saying, temporarily, put a lot more focus in other areas that might be tripping you up and holding you back.
This gets you leverage over the loop, however, there is also a gap: the effects may not show up for a few weeks or months.
But given that, all the more reason to get on it and decide that making a change is something you will do, starting right now.
The London Flower Lover
p.s. give flowers to yourself